“You’re totally spoiling your child!” – “If you always carry it, it will never learn to fall asleep without you.” – “You can’t carry your child forever – it will get used to it.”
Have you heard any of these phrases before? Then you're not alone!
As parents, we are often told, or we ask ourselves, whether we are spoiling our baby through too much physical contact.
My name is Laura Lösch from Herz und Milch (Heart and Milk) . I am a breastfeeding consultant and natural parenting coach, and in this article I will explain why it is good and important to "spoil" our babies.
1. Biological nature of carrying
The idea that babies might be spoiled by being carried is based on an outdated understanding of child development. In fact, carrying babies is a biologically natural practice. In many cultures around the world, mothers and fathers have carried their babies for centuries to provide them with warmth, security, and closeness. In the first few months after birth, babies are not yet able to move independently or care for themselves. Carrying them therefore fulfills their basic needs for nourishment, sleep, and security.
2. Bonding and trust
Physical contact and carrying babies strengthen the bond between parents and children. When babies know they will be comforted and nurtured at any time, they develop a deep trust in their parents and their environment. This trust forms the foundation for healthy emotional and social development later in life. It is important to understand that babies in their first few months of life are not capable of manipulation or spoiling. Their crying and need for closeness are simply expressions of their natural instincts.
3. Respect needs
Parenthood means respecting and responding to our children's needs. When a baby seeks closeness and physical contact, it's important to respond rather than reject it. Studies have shown that children who are carried a lot in their first few months of life often become more independent and self-confident, as they experience the security and support of their parents. Closeness and security are just as essential as eating or drinking.
4. The development of personality
The idea that babies are spoiled by being carried can make parents insecure and lead them to suppress their own needs for closeness and physical contact. However, it is important to emphasize that meeting our babies' needs not only promotes their development but also strengthens our own bonds and makes us more confident as parents.
Babies and children can't be spoiled – on the contrary, they need love and physical contact to develop healthily and safely. Next time you hear something like that, maybe you'll be able to react completely differently 🤍
Your Laura
