Becoming parents as a same-sex couple. What challenges comes with it? And how did they make their dream come true despite the many challenges.
We accompany expectant fathers Horst and Manuel on their journey to the USA to fulfil their desire to have kids.
The two young men live in the countryside of Bavaria. They met and fell in love a few years ago in the city of Munich. The desire to have children has been with them for a long time, but it wasn't that simple. They first thought of adopting and foster care, because there weren't many other options available to them in Germany, so they thought...
However, everything turned out differently and they become "pregnant" - well actually a surrogate mother 8000 kilometres away in USA near Salt Lake City carried the child of Manuel and Horst. Their baby, their genes. You may be wondering who the biological father is, the two do not reveal and this will remain a small family secret.
When we heard about these two young men's story, we knew right away: we have to meet them!
"Horst and Manuel, how did you make the decision to become surrogates?"
"That's easy to explain. We simply failed in the usual processes like adoption or fostering. There was a lack of support from the relevant agencies at every turn. It was really frustrating. We had hoped and expected that this would be different."
"The desire to have children became more and more of a struggle. We were on the verge of giving up."
"What encouraged you to keep going?"
"Besides the bureaucratic hurdles, there was always that one percent of a weird, bad feeling. We wanted something different. We knew there had to be another way for us. We didn't want to get discouraged, so we started over. And that's how we got into surrogacy."
"Surrogacy - but why not in Germany?"
"In Germany, the way of a surrogate motherhood is not to implement - it is simply illegal. That means we had to look elsewhere. After endless research, we came across the USA. There, surrogacy is legal. We moved a little closer to our dream."
Horst and Manuel found a surrogate mother through an agency. It's not cheap. Because the placement alone costs 50,000€ - plus lawyers, surrogacy and other expenses that have to be paid.
But their dream came true. They found the surrogate mother who is just right for them. Horst and Manuel affectionately call her "Bauchmama". What we find particularly nice is that the three of them regularly exchange information via Zoom and a very special friendship has developed.
Soon the men fly to the USA and get to meet their little miracle - which, by the way, regularly reports to the belly mama with a few steps during Zoom calls.
The step into a new life
The excitement is huge. Is it really starting now? Horst and Manuel have packed and repacked their suitcases 1829 times, and nothing must be forgotten! Because tonight the plane leaves for the USA, where they are preparing for the birth of their daughter. It could start at any moment.
After arriving near Salt Lake City they will spend the time until the birth with the "belly mama". In just a few days, their daughter will be born. The two aren't revealing the name, but it was probably a foregone conclusion 1.5 years ago 😉
Follow the whole journey on Instagram
In January 2021, the two decided to share their story. They want to raise awareness about the challenges of trying to have children as a same-sex couple. And most of all, they want to encourage. They do a beautiful job at taking you with them on their journey on Instagram at @2.be.good.dads and show "that we are a normal family," says Horst. With dad, dad and baby.
Horst and Manuel call themselves "Papa" and "Dad." Two fathers who show incredible courage and will. They want to show other same-sex couples that it is possible to make your dream come true as a same-sex family.
Soon their lives will change from one minute to the next, forever. Their daughter will be in their arms very soon.
"We couldn't be happier." - Horst and Manuel
We at Rookie wish you the very best. You are a great, strong couple. And we are so happy for you from the bottom of our hearts that your dream is coming true - despite all the hurdles! Your courage grabs us every day when we see your story and follow you on Instagram. You inspire us beyond the usual. To many incredible memories and a future filled with endless love & laughter.